Help Wanted

Entry level spin doctor needed for major political party. Primary requirements: must know the difference between logical and illogical, plus right and wrong, according to our definitions. Must not let the facts hinder your performance. Applicant must be in good health as occasional dizziness from the job may occur. Call 1-800-666-sucker to apply.

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Help Wanted

Part time person wanted to work in pizza restaurant. What you are the rest of the time is your business.