One more true story. Again, this one takes place while I was a driving instructor back in New Jersey.
I, personally, plus with students driving, had driven down a country road numerous times and never paid much attention to the happenings at a local farm. One day, with a student driving, as we were passing this particular farm, I just happened to look over and seen something I was not expecting to see. You all have heard the term “makin’ bacon”, I’m sure. Well, as we went past the farm, that’s exactly what two hogs were doing; making bacon. Just curious though; would that have been called doing it “piggy style”? Talk about squealing! 😀
For some of you reading these posts, you are familiar with the fact I was a behind-the-wheel driving instructor for a number of years. On occasion, some of those trips took my students and I into territory filled with large dairy farms. Most of you, or all of you, by now are familiar with my occasional warped sense of humor as well.
As we drove past these areas, I would let a few of my students in on some fun “facts” about dairy farms. Such as; you get chocolate milk from the brown cows. Also, if you see a trampoline either inside or outside of the barn, that is how they get milkshakes. Hey; don’t scoff. I once had a student believing a cat had gone through metamorphosis while we were practicing the art of parallel parking. But that’s a story for another time. 😀
Anyways.. In one town, there was a road that took us through a dairy farm. The road basically cut the pasture in half. On either side of the road, standing tall, was a DOT issued warning sign that read “Beware of Cattle Crossing Between 5AM and 7AM; and, 3PM and 5PM” [sic]. Of course, my first thought was, since when do cows know how to tell time?
Here’s where the warped sense of humor comes into play. After reading the sign, my thoughts immediately turned to these: The boss cow gathers the herd together for a meeting. He informs the herd, “tomorrow we are going to have some fun with those drivers. Tomorrow we are going to cross that road a half hour early. George and Henry, you guys go out first and make sure to stop any traffic that comes ’round until the rest of the herd reaches the other side of the road so no one gets hurt. We’ll teach those humans a lesson about taking all our milk money from us!”
On a side note; with the price of milk as high as it is at the moment, are cows still contented or are they ecstatic?