Groundhog Refuses to Come Out of Hole

Weather Forecasters Fear The Worst
The nations weather forecasters are frantically searching for clues to when the winter of  ’13 will be over as the not-as-famous groundhog, Lackawanna Larry, never came out of his hole this February 2, Groundhog Day. The primary fear is that the little critter may be ill, or, possibly dead. There was a report of a road kill sighting on a back road out of town earlier this week. But further investigation revealed that it was a skunk and not a groundhog that had been hit. A member of a local animal rescue team was brought in to help with the investigation. When all attempts to lure Larry out of his hole failed, including the groundhog mating call, team member Warren Schnauzer risked his life by crawling into the hole in search of Larry. Upon emerging from the hole Warren held a piece of paper in his hands. It was a handwritten note from the groundhog. It said: “I have decided to retire from the business. Am moving to Arizona with my wife to enjoy our remaining years in the hot weather. Goodbye, Larry.” After reading the note Warren said he did not really believe it was written by the groundhog. “Larry always used to write his messages on a typewriter,” Warren was quoted as saying. The investigation continues.