Heads up, guys!
This Friday, 8 March, is International Women’s Day. Initially celebrated here in the states in the early 1900’s, it is now mostly celebrated in parts of eastern Europe and Russia. Possibly because we have Mother’s day, which many countries do not celebrate. The difference between the two, Women’s Day is a day to celebrate women of all ages, mothers or not. Now, since all nations on our good Mother Earth are part of the international community, I hereby wish all women of all ages and of all nationalities a very Happy Women’s Day. Enjoy ladies!
Oh, and guys. Don’t worry; you have not been forgotten. There is an International Men’s Day as well. Some countries celebrate it on 23 February; others on 19 November. More information on both of these days can be found on wikipedia.org.
Feeling depressed lately? Or dejected? Maybe you have suicidal tendencies? Or even an Oedipus Complex? Need someone to talk to, but can’t afford a psychiatrist? Well, good news! Announcing Wronco’s new “Do It Yourself Psychiatrist Kit”. The Wronco “Do It Yourself Psychiatrist Kit” comes complete with 4 one hour long mp3 files, plus a pocket size mp3 player. Handy in case you have an anxiety attack while traveling. All you have to do is select one of the files, load it into the player, lay down on the nearest couch or park bench, and you are on your way back to sanity. Files include “So, you think you are in love with your mother?”; “Beating up the inner child in you”; and everyone’s favorite “It’s not my fault”. Primal scream therapy is also available. You get the 4 hour long instructional mp3 files and the pocket size mp3 player, all for just $59.95. Less than half of what it would cost if you went to a real shrink for a one hour session. But wait, there’s more. If you act now we’ll also include a set of matching headphones so you can listen to the files in private, no matter where you are. That’s $59.95 for the Wronco “Do It Yourself Psychiatrist Kit” complete with 4 one hour long mp3 files, player, and matching headphones. Call now to place your order. Dial 1-800-NUTCASE. Operators are standing by. Quantity discounts available for people with multiple personalities.
This was actually done one time for Christmas. But when you stop to think about it, this little “practical joke” can be used almost any time of year, for birthdays, graduations, etc. Read on..
One year for Christmas, when we were younger, my sister said she wanted “cold, hard cash” as a present. I went to the bank; got 50$ worth of assorted coins. When I returned home I emptied the coins into a plastic container, filled it with water, then placed the container in the back of the freezer. On Christmas day, I took the frozen container out of the freezer and handed it to my sister. Thus fulfilling her Christmas wish of “cold, hard cash”.
It took about a week for the container to thaw, and for my sister to dry all the coins.
How many times have you gazed longingly in the window of your local tattoo parlor? Or, perhaps you have admired that tattoo on your favorite biker or your mom? But you never had the nerve to get one yourself because you are afraid of needles? Well, good news! Introducing Wronco’s NEW Do It Yourself Paint by Number Tattoo Kit! The Kit comes complete with 20 different Peal and Stick designs, including – “Mother”; a skull & cross bones; a heart; battleship; a teddy bear, and even a rose. It also includes 10 different color paints plus 5 brushes for applying the tattoo. Simply choose your favorite design, peel off the backing, then apply sticker to your body wherever you want the tattoo to be located. Then just follow the enclosed color chart for that design and paint your tattoo! Easy! It’s fun for the entire family! Plus, unlike tattoos applied with needles, these can be removed whenever you decide you no longer want it. Just apply some rubbing alcohol or your favorite beer to remove the tattoo. Buy a second Do It Yourself Kit and give it to a friend, your dad or mom, or the gang in the next neighborhood! So, run right out.. and hope you don’t have to keep running!
Having trouble finding that special gift for that most annoying person in your life? Well, look no further! Announcing Wronco’s new Finger in a Box! Made out of a silicon based material, it looks just like the real thing. Comes packed in its own faux velvet-like material lined box. It’s the perfect gift to give anytime of year. Next time you need a gift for that special annoying person in your life, give them the Finger. The all new Wronco Finger in a Box!