San Francisco

sung to the tune of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”)
(with sincerest apologies to the great Mr. Tony Bennett)
“An Organ Recital”
“I left my heart in San Francisco,
And my kidneys in ol’ LA,
I left my liver in San Diego,
And my spleen in Los Vegas;”
um, never mind..

Yes, I have been to San Francisco many years ago. I’m quite certain it has gone through numerous changes over the years, as have many locales. I will admit I did not leave my heart there, nor any other part of me. But I do remember it with fondness. The Golden Gate Bridge, the TransAmerica tower (not sure if it is still called that), Fisherman’s Wharf, Chinatown, and many other places. Great chocolate from Ghirardelli Square also.
When we arrived in the city, the first thing I wanted to do was to check out Lombard Street. One section of it especially. Yeah, I know, “What? Why?” Some of you may already guess the answer. Others, take a look at the picture below. A monologue of Mr. Bill Cosby from some time ago, he talks about Lombard Street. How it is made from bricks (it is), is very narrow (only one way on this section, downhill), has many curves, and “is lined with flowers along the side in honor of those who died trying to negotiate the curves on that section of road” [sic] (also true, but the flowers are not there for that reason).
My friends and I did go down that section (I was driving the car, everyone else chickened out) and made it safely to the end. The brakes on the car did not survive. As a side note, the vehicle had automatic transmission. I would not want to drive a standard transmission vehicle there. I would have wound up in the bay quite a few times while attempting to go uphill from a red light.
Fisherman’s Wharf was also an interesting place to visit. One section of tourist shops contained a Ripley’s Believe It or Not. One of the displays outside of the store was a bed of nails. An actual honest to goodness bed of nails. Real metal 3 or 4 inch long (approximately) nails, sticking straight up, ready to puncture anything that touched it. (The shape of it did not look like the picture below, and there were no pillows.) Being somewhat daring, (again, everyone else chickened out) I decided to try sitting on the bed of nails. If any of you have ever tried it yourselves, it was quite interesting. I slowly lowered my bum onto the nails, and sat up as straight as possible successfully. I did not time myself as to how long I sat on it; roughly 5 minutes I think it was. I carefully stood up, then had my friends check my back side. No punctures to myself or my clothes. Still, no one else wanted to try it. Alas.
I would not mind visiting San Francisco again, plus a few other places out on the left coast. I still won’t leave my heart there; it belongs to my girl friend. But I know I will leave San Francisco with fond memories.

lombard street

Lombard Street

bed of nails

bed of nails

(both images found on google)


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